periodical perusing: us weekly

I shamefully, yet joyously, read US Weekly each and every week. The never ending pile of magazines to read by my beside never has any US Weekly issues in it. I can't explain why I find the news more pressing in it than The New Yorker, but I do admit I often read magazines on the verge of sleep, and my sleep-ready mind can always handle celebrity gossip, but I hate to start an article in The New Yorker I won't have to finish before sleep catches up with me.

Despite my familiarity with US Weekly, I am still regularly mesmerized by some of the sentences formed. I don't have literary expectations for this periodical, but I am still amazed at the style choices they make. For once, I am not speaking of their attempts at witty photo captions. This sentence was in the middle of a paragraph of an extended article:

"On a night when Jolie and Pitt would ordinarily be the full center of attention toasting their great year (two Oscar noms! Twins! General hotness!), the actors instead found themselves undercut by Aniston's buzzed-about presence." (March 9, 2009 issue, p. 83)

First, readers of US Weekly are familiar with the facts that Brad and Angelina were both nominated for Oscars, had twins and recognize their hotness. Dare I say, readers of US Weekly could name all six of the couple's children. Yes, I can.

I don't expect great journalism, but parenthetical exclamations mesmerized and amazed me. Does anyone really think Brangelina would toast their great year publicly? We love humble stars; we want to toast their greatness (and General hotness!), but the moment they do, we stop.

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