Tuesday, May 1, 2007

i heart bevin

Yes, I am still watching The Bachelor, despite its Dancing with the Stars mandated longer than an hour length each week. I'm holding out for the final four, which means hometown visits. I find the "meet the parents" visits to be fascinating and often awkward. This episode is usually the season's best, although tequila baking might take the dishonor this year.

The lowlights:

Manners inquiry: when on a one man, three woman date, is it more awkward to be the woman who picks something out of the man's teeth or be one of the two who didn't mention the object?

"It's hard for me to date a guy who's dating so many women. I deserve better; I deserve someone who just wants to be with me." - Bevin, I'm trying hard to still love you. Have you ever seen The Bachelor before? That's exactly the premise. I don't think Andy has the option to give out fewer than the required number of roses in a rose ceremony. Although we might all benefit if he hurried the process along.

Andy's date with Stephanie Kansas might be my dream date. They were able to mix their own bottle of wine and body paint the label. Hot.

Back to dear Bevin crying, "The guy that I'm dating right is dating so many other women. It totally makes me feel so desperate. For someone who's 23 [Amber!] to be doing this, I understand, but at my age [28], it's like, I feel ridiculous. Why am I putting myself through this when I could be at home just dating a guy who's just gonna date one person. I feel like an idiot because the chances are it won't be me." Now pardon the hopeless romantic about to come out in me, but I appreciate that Bevin is an otherwise sane and intelligent woman who now regrets her decision to participate in this preposterous charade of romance on reality television. Bevin, you've clearly developed intense feelings, and if it's love, you fucking fight for it. Love makes one feel ridiculous enough at times without being on a silly tv show. Has someone made Team Bevin t-shirts yet?

Andy and four bachelorettes partnered with the Hollywood Beautification Team, which has nothing to do with socialites and everything to do with building community and helping the environment. They do good work, but their name makes me giggle at the poetic irony.

"There's no better date than to really get a sense of how they feel about community and about family and about children." -Andy. Seriously, Andy, you would take manual labor, even for a good cause, over making wine and body painting your own label? Seriously? Clearly, I am in the minority as all five agreed at the end, "It can't be topped." Amazing experience? Absolutely. Amazing date? No! There are still four women for one man (and no lesbians present). Good group date? Sure, there was no jealousy, which was quite refreshing to watch.

"I need all the time I can get to talk to Andy." - Danielle. Perhaps the sentence went on, "about something besides my college boyfriend who died while in bed with me."

Misnomer of the day: "Seeing Andy with those kids reassured me that he can be a good father and that he is ready for marriage." -Tina. Dear Tina, goofing around with children does not directly correlate ready for marriage. Sincerely, DFACS.

"I think it's every girl's dream to like be brought over diamonds and then brought to a dress store to pick out anything you want." - Tessa. Please knock sense into me if my dreams ever approach that.

One benefit of those silly doors on Andy's car: because they open up instead of out, they provide an extra layer of panty protection from paparazzi.

"I do truly believe that you can meet someone you're meant to be with in the craziest and most amazing of circumstances." - Tessa. While The Bachelor is indeed crazy, I do not believe appearing on a reality program with the goal of finding love to be such an experience. Rob and Amber meeting on Survivor, sure. Sean and Rachel meeting on the first Real World challenge, sure.

After this episode, I am no longer rooting for Tessa.

"Tessa hasn't told me yet that she's 100% in, that she's willing to go the distance with me." -Andy. Dear Andy, you are technically only 16-17% in right now as you are dating six women. Aren't you being slightly hypocritical here?

Warning - nomadreader's off-color comment of the day: "This is the biggest regret of my life." - Tina, the medical student. Should someone tell her she might kill accidentally kill a patient one day? Or do I just watch too many medical dramas and believe all doctors kill a patient one episode or another?

I'm actually rooting for Bevin, even though I think she's far too good for Andy. Seriously, she was the far and away winner of the tricycling race. How cool is she?

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