nomadreader

When I settled in last night for the home visit episode of The Bachelor , I was expecting awkward moments and scandal. Instead I was subjected to four women who all have severe emotional attachment for the same man, who claims to have true, intense feelings for all of them. It was depressing and slightly tragic; it was not its usually escapist reality television. It also brought me to a startling, perhaps partially wine-induced conclusion: I believe in romance too much to care about The Bachelor . Sure, The Bachelor is filled with roses, diamonds, sparkling wine and dates designed with carefree abandon, but it's all one large choreographed illusion of romance. I don't care for roses or diamonds. I'm not doubting that there are real feelings involved, but part of me loses faith in Andy every time I see him proclaim his feelings, seemingly sincerely, for more than one woman. By the third woman, I'm rolling my eyes, and by the time the fourth woman appeared, I just fel...

Yes, I am still watching The Bachelor, despite its Dancing with the Stars mandated longer than an hour length each week. I'm holding out for the final four, which means hometown visits. I find the "meet the parents" visits to be fascinating and often awkward. This episode is usually the season's best, although tequila baking might take the dishonor this year. The lowlights : Manners inquiry: when on a one man, three woman date, is it more awkward to be the woman who picks something out of the man's teeth or be one of the two who didn't mention the object? "It's hard for me to date a guy who's dating so many women. I deserve better; I deserve someone who just wants to be with me." - Bevin, I'm trying hard to still love you. Have you ever seen The Bachelor before? That's exactly the premise. I don't think Andy has the option to give out fewer than the required number of roses in a rose ceremony. Although we might all benefit if...

Is it only week three? This show gets more dull each episode. The first episode was entertaining. By the time the third episode rolls around, it gets a little sad that all of the women seem to believe they're in love. It will now stay slightly depressing, except for a few cat fights fueled by champagne, until Andy proposes. Memo to the producers of The Bachelor: Boot camp is dull; drunken baking is good television. The lowlights : "Erin may have bleach-blond hair and look like a Barbie doll, but she sure knows how to do some manly things, like shoot guns. So, that's attractive." -Andy, who mistakenly confuses "manly" with shooting guns. Even more unfortunately, this episode aired on the same day as the Virginia Tech massacre, and I think most agree his shooting spree was far from manly. "He's a boy, like, of course he'd love to drive these kind of cars. I think he's looking for a girl that's like the exact same as him." - Kate, ...

Episode two begins with me wondering when the arrest record and mug shot of one of the ladies will appear online. Andy starts us off with "Operation: Soulmate is about to begin" and one large grin. Someone is channeling Maverick, which makes me remember when Tom Cruise was endearing. "I guess I thought it would be funny to fake an injury and get Andy's attention." - Tessa, after falling off the mechanical bull. She did open with the muffin joke, but surprisingly, I like her. Andy - "I'm really excited to see what Stephanie pulls our. She's a gymnast. She has lots of talents." Such as? Seriously, my girl from Kansas stayed on the bull, and she was the only one. Kansas is regaining credibility after crazy Lindsay's departure. "This is the kind of place where I think something magical could happen and possibly I could fall in love." - Amanda, about Los Angeles, reminding the world she is from Texas. "I heard that you were h...

I shamefully confess to recording The Bachelor: An Officer & a Gentleman, and I more sheepishly admit to watching it the night of its premiere. Five minutes into the premiere, however, I was taking notes. This program is a sarcastic blogger's dream! The highlights for those of you too sensible (or silly) to watch: -During the opening montage history of Andy's (the Bachelor) life, we are treated to a discolored photograph from young Andy in the early 1980's with his family, beaming while clutching a Cabbage Patch doll. What looks to his brother also hugs a CPd while grinning. -If this man was not coached for reality television editing, I would be amazed. He is all flowery language and smiles. He meets the contenders on his 30th birthday. Without prompting he waxes poetically, "People always ask if you did something special on your birthday. What could be more special than this? I may be meeting my future wife tonight." -Blakeney, a 29-year-old Alabama girl, opi...